


Uneasy

by belladonawritings



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Knifeplay, Kuron is Shiro (Voltron)'s Clone, Mistaken Identity, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 10:23:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11987853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belladonawritings/pseuds/belladonawritings
Summary: There is something wrong with Shiro. Pidge doesn't know what. But Shiro is asking things from her that he never did before. She loves him still (she thinks) - so it's not a big deal. Right.





	Uneasy

Pidge didn’t know how she felt about Shiro being back. It was ridiculous. She was _happy,_ of course.

                Only – he’d barely looked at her yet. He’d fallen out of the ship, and Keith had taken him to his rooms…and he’d emerged, back to business as usual. Like she didn’t exist.

                Well, that wasn’t going to fly. She’d given him a few days to process everything, to be back, to be _home._ But – “Stupid…boyfriend…comb… _hair…_ ” she grumbled, then banged her head against the mirror. She’d gotten it _stuck._ The comb. Not the boyfriend.

                “Need some help?” came a purr from the door, and Pidge jumped, turning around. Of fucking course. Shiro leant in the doorway, a small smile playing around his lips.

                “I – You –“ She turned back to the mirror, untangling her hair from the teeth of the comb bit by bit. “Don’t _do_ that.”

                “What, come visit my girlfriend?”

                She flushed, eyes dropping to the sink. His footsteps came up behind her, and suddenly her heart was racing. It hadn’t even been that _long._

                “Here,” he murmured, and his hands started working at the comb. “I got one of these stuck trying to brush _this_ thing out.”

                Pidge laughed despite herself. “Not used to long hair yet?”

                “I’ll adjust. I kind of like it.” The comb made it out of her hair. His hands dropped to her upper arms. His mouth lowered to her ear. “Do you?”

                A jolt of electricity ran down her spine, and Shiro stroked his fingers over the curve of her chin. “I missed you, Pidge,” he murmured. “So much…”

                “W-well it sure doesn’t feel like it with how much you’ve been avoiding me!” _I’m mad at him, I’m mad at him, I’m mad at him –_ She tore herself away and turned to face him (again) – which didn’t help. Now she was staring _up_ at him, hyperconscious of the height difference, fixating on the stubble dusting his chin and cheeks and the long hair framing his face.

                …

                Fuck. Boyfriends weren’t supposed to disappear and come back even _more_ beautiful.

                He placed his hands on the sink on either side of her, and she swallowed nervously when she realized she was cornered. “I’ve only been avoiding you because I needed to get my head together. But I have now, and I want to give you the attention you deserve.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, Pidge.”

                “I –“ _I love you too._ “I need a little space too, okay? I – I thought you were dead.”

                His face dropped, but he nodded. “Alright.” Then he kissed her, lips harder than she remembered. Then his hand was on her shoulder, his tongue sliding into her mouth, and she moaned into the kiss despite herself because this was _Shiro,_ he was back and he wanted her, he was showing her how much he wanted her –

                Pidge tore herself away. “I have to go,” she babbled. Then she was gone, pretending not to feel his eyes staring a hole into her back.

\----

                In the morning, she headed straight to the training deck. She’d spent all night tossing and turning (and ignoring the way her fingers kept straying between her legs – she’d been afraid and uncomfortable, so why did the feeling of his tongue between her lips keep coming back to her like this?) and now she was full of restless, manic energy.

                Okay. She wanted to learn how to use a sword. She plucked one of the Altean ones from the rack. “Activate training level one.” She readied the sword –

                -and the drone immediately knocked her on her ass.

                “That’s not going to work,” came the voice from behind her, and she cringed. _Cringed –_ she shouldn’t be _cringing_ at her boyfriend’s voice.

                “I’ll be fine! I’ll figure it out,” she replied, not turning to look behind her. She got to her feet – and was immediately knocked head-over-heels again.

                Shiro chuckled, deactivating the training program. “Come on. Let me show you.”

                Pidge frowned slightly, then shrugged. It couldn’t hurt. “Okay. What am I doing wrong?”

                Shiro moved until he was standing behind her, and slid a hand onto her arm. “Well, first…” he murmured into her ear, and she could feel the smile on his face. “relax. The sword is an extension of your arm.” He squeezed her elbow. “Relax.” He kissed her temple, then guided her arm up into position. “High guard…” Then down to her shoulders. “Middle guard…” Then he pushed the sword down to cover her legs and stomach. “Low guard.”

                She couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Are you so intimate with all your students?” she teased.

                “Mm, no. You’re special.”

                Pidge turned her head until her nose brushed against his. He didn’t seem so _wrong_ in daylight, she decided, and she lifted a hand to tangle in his black hair. “You should probably tie this up or something.”

                “Probably.” Then he was kissing her again, the kind of kiss that _wanted_ something, demanding and inviting all at once. She kissed him back this time, because god, she _did_ want this. She’d spent all night trying to talk herself out of it, convincing herself that she should – should what? Break up with him? Keep her distance? Instead she was leaning into his touch, melting against him. She dropped the sword, practice forgotten.

                Shiro’s hand slid down to her belt, and she pulled away. “W-wait, I –“

                “What’s the matter?” he teased. “Before I left, you were the one jumping _me._ ”

                “Y-yeah…” He was right – there wasn’t any _reason_ for her to be so nervous. Her eyes flickered to the door. “U-uh-“

                “Don’t worry. Everybody’s busy.” He bit on the lobe of her ear. “I made sure of it.”

                Despite his comfort, her cheeks lit up at the idea of Lance or Keith walking in on her and Shiro. The risk wasn’t helping her calm _down._ She arched her neck as his teeth brushed over it.

                Then he stepped back, picking up the sword and teasing the point over her stomach. “Take off your armour.”

                Pidge flushed, averting her eyes. She started with the belt, trying not to think too much about the fact that Shiro had a sword pointed at her. It was just a training sword. It couldn’t do any real damage. But the adrenaline didn’t care – the blood was pulsing through her veins so loudly she could barely think. She and Shiro had, well, _done stuff_ before, but it hadn’t been like this, hot and dangerous and on the knife’s edge of going wrong. (And she almost hoped for that too, and she didn’t know _why –_ wasn’t having a lover like Shiro enough for her?)

                _I can just say no. If I want to._

Did she want to?

                Who knew?

                She dropped the belt on the ground, followed by her chestguard. Then she slid off her vambraces and gauntlets, never letting her eyes stray from Shiro, who moved the sword up to her chest, breasts a small rise under the jumpsuit. “The rest of it, too.”

                She did as he was told. Fuck, it wasn’t like she didn’t spend most of the time following his orders anyway. Then she stood in front of him in just the jumpsuit, sliding the sword up onto her shoulder and taking a few steps closer to him. “How’s this?”

                “Mm. Getting there.” He flicked her chin, then found the zipper of the jumpsuit, pulling it slowly down and revealing the creamy skin underneath.

This is a bad idea, warned the part of her that wasn’t on fire with hormones. Instead, she stepped out of the jumpsuit, fully nude in front of him. He hadn’t taken off a single piece of armour. “Like what you see?” she said with a wry smile, trying to act like her heart wasn't ramming against her ribs.

“Of course.” His lips brushed over her forehead. Then his hands stroked over her shoulders, down over her breasts, flickering over her nipples - he'd touched her there before, she remembered, and she'd stopped him, afraid of the way she was feeling -

She didn't stop him this time. She was afraid - but not afraid enough.

His fingers kept moving down her body, tracing the swell of her stomach, then tangling in the light pubic hair at the junction of her legs. "You're _beautiful,_ " he murmured, and she told herself she couldn't hear that slight mocking tone in his voice. It was just her own insecurity. Then his fingers found her clit, and a cry sprang from her lips as she fell forward, clinging to him.

Shiro took a handful of her hair with his other hand. "What's the matter?" he cooed, then laughed quietly as she thrust forward against his fingers. "Mm, demanding." He slid a finger into her, and she should have been embarrassed, anything _other_ than this wanton and ready for him to fuck her senseless. "How does that feel?"

She bit her lip, unable to put together a response. Instead, she kept rocking on his hand, silently pleading for more, _more -_ When the second finger worked its way into her, stretching out her hole, she began to whimper, both in slight pain and in more of the agonizing pleasure that she'd only just started to experience. _Shiro never made me feel like this before,_ came the dark, heavy realization. He made her nervous, now, but she _liked_ it.

"Want three?" he whispered, voice filled with an urgent heat. The breath caught in her throat.

"Y-yes," she managed to force out of her throat. Her juices were rolling down her legs, but she was too far gone to care.

His fingers pulled almost all the way out of her, then the third began to gently slide in alongside them. They slipped back in to the first joint, then further and further, stretching her more than she could ever had thought possible, more than she could handle -

Her fists balled in his jumpsuit, almost yanking it free of the armour underneath. "Sh-Shiro...p-please..."

"Please what?"

She kept gasping every time she tried to say it, his fingers stuffed so tightly into her that she could barely breathe. But she reached down, hands grabbing at his crotch, plea desperate and wordless.

"You want my cock? Come on, let me hear it."

"I - I want your cock." The words sounded so dirty and out of place in her mouth. Shiro pulled his fingers slowly from her, leaving Pidge with an empty feeling, and he pushed her to the ground, letting her settle onto her knees.

"I can arrange that." He fiddled with his jumpsuit, then tugged his cock free, and Pidge stifled her small yelp of surprise. She'd - well - she didn't think they looked _quite_ like that. She'd _seen_ them. You didn't live with an older brother without catching a glimpse here and there. But seeing one erect - let alone her boyfriend's -

Shiro traced her cheekbone. "Getting nervous?"

"No," she blustered, and let him guide her mouth to his shaft. The first bit wasn't so bad - it tasted a little strange, but the heat in her stomach made it a little better. The more she took into her mouth, the more she could feel Shiro react, and that was so _good –_ he pulsed and swelled between her lips, in her throat – but then her jaw was starting to ache, and she tried to pull back.

“I’m not done yet,” he gasped out, and his fingers clenched in her hair, forcing his cock back into her mouth and down her throat. She felt herself choking on it – _don’t gag don’t gag don’t gag –_ and after a few seconds of not being able to breathe, suddenly was filled with a feeling of otherness. Like she was staring down at herself from above. _So this is what it’s like when he’s mean,_ she thought, but it wasn’t a sad thought. Just there. She’d deal with it later.

                Shiro came with a quiet cry, teeth gritted, and the salty taste flooded into her mouth. She coughed, pulling back, but she swallowed most of it impulsively, some of it dribbling down her chin.

                “Good girl,” he breathed, then flopped down to the ground. He wiped the cum off of her cheek and chin with his thumb. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

                Part of her wanted to scream, but she couldn’t really place why. Maybe it was the hard look in his eyes. Instead, she just nodded and smiled. “I love you.”

                “I love you too.”

\---

                It was another week before she let herself be alone with him again. It wasn’t too hard – not with missions to deal with and Lotor to worry about – but it involved a lot of ducking out of rooms and making bizarre last-minute plans with Lance. (“You want to spend time? With _me?_ ” “Yes. Stop making it weird-“ and Lance had made it kind of weird anyway.) But she couldn’t avoid it forever – before long, it was him and her in a room again. _Her_ room.

                “Are you avoiding me?”

                “N-no-“

                “I didn’t mean to push you into something you didn’t want.” He was uncomfortably close to her again, even if his words sounded soft and genuine. Pidge didn’t trust them. She was listening to his body language instead, the hand sliding up and down her arm. She could still taste him in her mouth.

                _-you didn’t mind that much, did you? you liked it when he forced you you liked it when he ordered you to take off your clothes you liked being naked and helpless and used –_

She wasn’t listening. She _wasn’t._

“I’m fine.”

                He chuckled, thumb running over her chin in an echo of how he’d brushed his cum off of her face. “I want to make it up to you. Let me make you feel good.”

                The door was closed behind him. Of course. But she didn’t really _want_ to say no. He’d get what he wanted anyway (what kind of logic was that?) and she was… she was curious. “Okay.”

                He was kissing her almost before it was out of her mouth, hand sliding between her legs and pulling an unwilling moan from her. Then he was lifting her, carrying her to the bed and fighting with the button of her cargo pants, and she could feel him hard against her, she wanted it _inside_ her –

                Pidge pushed down on Shiro’s shoulders, and he let her, pressing kisses to her freckled thighs then closing his lips around her aching clit. She couldn’t hold back her moans this time – _so this is what it feels like –_ and she buried her hands in his silky hair, legs twitching around his head. A metal finger slid into her, cold and hard; another one joined it, and she could _feel_ the pressure rising in her stomach –

                Shiro moved on top of her. “Let me make you feel good,” he whispered. “You want it, don’t you?”

                _I do –_ “What are you doing?”

                “I got three fingers into you last time.” He licked her cheek, playful and revolting all at once. “You can take my cock.”

                She trembled despite herself, his fingers entwining with hers and pinning her hand to the bed. “It’s – I’ve – it’s my first time.” _Please be gentle,_ she tried to say, but that would be a lie, because she didn’t _want_ it gentle. If she wanted it all. God, she couldn’t _decide._ She couldn’t even decide if she loved him anymore.

                She hit rewind on that thought. Of course she loved him. Of course, of course, of course.

                “It’s okay. First time for everything, right?” He kissed her so sweetly, so passionately, that for a moment, she could forget that he’d come in here to apologize, and now he was on top of her and this was _fine, this was fine –_

He worked into her a bit at a time, and she couldn’t help but flinch, shaking under him. His cock was bigger than his fingers, and even with just a little bit inside her, it _hurt._

“You’re awfully tight,” he breathed. “Relax.”

                “I’m – I’m nervous,” she whimpered.

                “Hey. It’s okay.” He rubbed her stomach, then eased out of her, carefully turning her over onto her stomach. “Let’s try it like this.” He sounded so soothing. It was almost normal, and she found herself relaxing as his hair brushed over her shoulders, and he slid into her again. This time it was easier, with her on her hands and knees –

                - _is it easier because you don’t have to look at him –_

-his metal hand circled her to play with her clit, thumb brushing over the fat nub of flesh. “Such a good, _good_ little slut,” he whispered, almost too quiet for her to hear, and she froze up. His voice was different. Harsher. “There you go. That’s all of it. Does it feel good?” He was already thrusting in and out of her, in slow but firm strokes.

                Pidge nodded, but that wouldn’t be enough for him, she knew that much – “Yes, it does – it feels so good – s-sir.”

                “Sir?” he purred. “That’s pretty good. But we can do better.” He thrust into her, hard and deep, and stroked her throat with fingers that felt like claws. “Call me Daddy,” he ordered. “Now, tell me, kitten, you like making Daddy feel good, right?”

                “Yuh-yes, D-Daddy.” There was that sensation again. Drifting far above her body, staring down with faint horror even as she moaned in his grip. She _liked_ calling him that. She wasn’t supposed to. It was filthy.

                “Do you want me to come inside you?”

                She had enough self-awareness to shake her head. “Nuh-no, that’s – no, it’s – it’s dangerous –“

                His fingers tightened on her throat. “I suppose. As you wish.” He thrust once more into her, then pulled out, and mixed in with the arousal was _oh, finally, he’s done –_

-then he shoved her face-first into the pillows, hands spreading her ass cheeks, and she was barely cognizant of anything else when the tip of his cock speared into her asshole, tearing a scream from her lips. He didn’t push far into her, just his head, and it was only a second later that she felt his cum inside her, hot and disgusting and where it shouldn’t be, where it had _no right_ to be.

                She squeezed her eyes shut, tears dripping into the pillow, and whimpered as he pulled out of her. He rolled onto the bed next to her, and pulled her into his arms. “Mmm. You’re warm.” His voice was groggy. “I love you.”

                She didn’t say it back. A few moments later, he was asleep, and she extricated herself from his arms. Her entire body hurt. But it was nothing, _nothing_ compared to the thought that was settling itself into her mind.

                _This is not Shiro. Shiro would never hurt me._

Maybe it was just her way of dealing with it. But maybe – just maybe it was true.

                Either way, she wasn’t letting him touch her again.


End file.
